He wondered if I would still be involved in the lifestyle if I hadn't lost my father at such a young age. (He died a week before my 5th birthday. Drunk driving accident. Don't do it, folks. You become a deadly weapon when you toy with even buzzed driving).
This was my response:
A very good question.
The short answer is yes.
I would probably not have the Daddy/LG attraction as much as I do. I wouldn't have missed out on that relationship, causing a void in my past that I now try to exorcise through ageplay and with my penchant for Daddy Doms, rather than simply sadistic tops or dominants.
I was, however, born a spanko. I got turned on from watching spanking scenes in cartoons as far back as my toddler years. I would read and reread passages from stories where the main character, a child my age, would receive some sort of corporal punishment as a consequence of foolish actions. Of course I didn't know what it was at the time-- it just felt like my tummy feels when I went on a roller coaster. But I liked it.Same thing when someone was whipped. I'm preconditioned to get wet from this stuff.
Gay men and women were considered psychologically unsound 10 years ago for their sexual proclivities. People thought that some event in their past caused them to suddenly shift their sexual preference. Now we know it is mostly biological. Same with me. And hopefully that idea too can begin to be accepted... The idea that I simply can't help myself. I am what I am, I was born that way.
I would've found this lifestyle no matter if my father passed on or not. I would've came in a spanko and still would've evolved as I experienced new things-- such as rope. Ten would still be Ten.
I'd like to hear some comments from the peanut gallery. Is your kink biological or psychological and why?
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My father is alive and kickin', and was there for me throughout my whole childhood. If anything, that made me more of the "Daddy's Girl" than if he hadn't been around -- I never want to grow up and loose that wonderful feeling of being Daddy's Little Girl ... but since I *have* grown up (well, at least physically!), now I need another person to take the Daddy role!
ReplyDeleteI also knew I was a spanko from first memory. If you wander over to my blog, I've written so much stuff about it that it's silly to add any details here, but suffice it to say I was very like you, Ten!
Now, my parents never even spanked me once, and I had no real exposure to such things (outside of cartoons, books, etc.,) and so I'm pretty sure that I'm just built to those specs ... but if something exterior/psychological did happen to make me the pervert I am, it had to have taken place before I was 5 years old, because I remember being a perv back then!
Both my parents are alive and I have a great relationship with them both. Although, I was a vanilla bean up until January of this year...never knew about the kinky side of me before then - never had even been spanked before then. But from my very first foray into the bdsm world I jumped in head first and have been happily swimming in this current ever since. I'm still trying to trace the environmental v. nutured v. biological links to my kinks. But definitely think that my penchant for discipline and maybe even spanking comes from the void of it in my adolescent life. Never had many rules or boundaries - rather was left to self-patrol both myself and lil brother- which probably also explains why I am a 'mommy' by nature. Been doing it as long as I can remember. But no, my kinks are in no way related to any previous abuse as there was none...I just am a natural pervert I guess :D
ReplyDeleteThat's a very good question...and one that I've been wondering about myself for a while now. I really don't know if I have a hard and fast answer. I think, that like you, it's a mix of both for me - biological and psychological (due to stuff that happened to me as a little girl).
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